You're Gonna Miss This
Music has a strange way of connecting people, changing people, helping them to grow.....
I remember growing up my Dad would always laugh and look at me when the song "You're Gonna Miss This" would come on. He knew that someday I would, and I didn't believe him...not one bit. I haven't lived in Texas in over 8 years. But every single time, I get ready to go to Texas for a visit, it doesn't matter if I am driving or flying, if I have my radio on it is going to come on. It has every time over the past 8 years. When the trip is over and I get to the airport, if I didn't hear it in the car on the way or sometime that day, it's the first thing I put on once I am past security. "You're Gonna Miss This."
Music makes me grow deeper in my faith and in my relationships. It doesn't matter if it is NF singing Therapy Session, Little Wayne, George Straight, or Beethoven. Music makes us slow down and listen. Listen to the words or feel the beat. It resonates deep inside our souls.
Little Man loves music. I remember back when he first came to my house, he was 3, and I was picking him up from daycare. I got there, he hadn't seen me yet, and they had just started a dance party and he was going to town. He was jumping and going crazy but he was so happy. As time went on with Little Man, music became one of his favorite things to do. He always wanted music on and honestly so did I. He would beg for Disney music, specifically Elsa of course. The minute music started, even if it wasn't Disney, his face would light up and you could tell he was happy and a dance party was about to happen in front of your eyes. Now dancing for this 5-year-old boy looked more like spinning in circles but it brought him, as well as everyone else watching him, joy.
At some point during quarantine, we began listening to the Frozen 2 soundtrack almost daily. When "All Is Found" came on he would ask me to sit in the rocking chair with him and hold him. He wanted me to hold him like a baby and just sing to him, much like he had seen Anna and Elsa's mother do in the movie. Looking down at him he would just stare into my eyes. Now I am NOT a good singer, but when he asked me to I would drop everything to sing that song to him.
Another memory is very clear in my mind. We had just come home and I had had a long day at work. I told him that I needed to sit on the couch and relax for at least 30 minutes before I cooked dinner because I was tired and had a long day. He said, " Can I sit with you quietly and we can listen to music?" "Sure bud, but I need it to be Jesus music this time." He happily obliged and went on to play.
The first song that came on my pandora was "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North which is one of my favorites and was very fitting for the evening. When I started to sing, he decided he didn't want to play he just wanted to cuddle and listen to me sing...so we continued this. The third or fourth song that came on was "How He Loves" the minute it popped up on my tv I lost it. He was so confused about why I was crying, so I paused the song before they even started singing. I did the best I could to tell him about Eric. I told him how my friend passed away suddenly and he would always sing this song for people. He couldn't understand why Eric would sing it. I asked him "Will you listen to what it says while I sing and just lay here?" So we did...of course at that point I was barely able to sing. When the song was over I paused the music and told him Eric would always sing it to people because he knew just how much God loves each of us. I said, "Little Man, God loves you so much and there is no one else out there that could take your place." I just kept saying that God loves each of us so much and that's what Eric wanted us to know. We just laid there for a while and I held him tight. When I turned the music back on, I lost it again. I closed my eyes and just cried...without missing a beat Little Man reached up and wiped a tear away and said "It's ok because God loves you so much." I know that I am not doing everything perfectly with this kid but one of the best moments I ever had with him came because of Eric and music.
Little Man has been gone for a little over 3 months now. And while I won't go into all the details here, this was possibly the hardest decision I have ever had to make. Little Man was struggling a lot and although I loved him to the best of my ability, I could not help him in the ways that he needed help. I miss him daily still and the amount of love I have for him has never changed, and hopefully never will. But there are certain songs that I either can't listen to without being reminded of him, or I still avoid altogether for the same reason.
Music connects people. He may never remember us singing or dancing, but I will. And I know that it was in those moments that he knew he was loved.
As children, we don't say it often, but my Dad was right. All of those times he would sing or say "You're Gonna Miss This," I wish I would have listened and taken it in. Because I miss so many of those moments with Little Man.
"You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"
I remember growing up my Dad would always laugh and look at me when the song "You're Gonna Miss This" would come on. He knew that someday I would, and I didn't believe him...not one bit. I haven't lived in Texas in over 8 years. But every single time, I get ready to go to Texas for a visit, it doesn't matter if I am driving or flying, if I have my radio on it is going to come on. It has every time over the past 8 years. When the trip is over and I get to the airport, if I didn't hear it in the car on the way or sometime that day, it's the first thing I put on once I am past security. "You're Gonna Miss This."
Music makes me grow deeper in my faith and in my relationships. It doesn't matter if it is NF singing Therapy Session, Little Wayne, George Straight, or Beethoven. Music makes us slow down and listen. Listen to the words or feel the beat. It resonates deep inside our souls.
Little Man loves music. I remember back when he first came to my house, he was 3, and I was picking him up from daycare. I got there, he hadn't seen me yet, and they had just started a dance party and he was going to town. He was jumping and going crazy but he was so happy. As time went on with Little Man, music became one of his favorite things to do. He always wanted music on and honestly so did I. He would beg for Disney music, specifically Elsa of course. The minute music started, even if it wasn't Disney, his face would light up and you could tell he was happy and a dance party was about to happen in front of your eyes. Now dancing for this 5-year-old boy looked more like spinning in circles but it brought him, as well as everyone else watching him, joy.
At some point during quarantine, we began listening to the Frozen 2 soundtrack almost daily. When "All Is Found" came on he would ask me to sit in the rocking chair with him and hold him. He wanted me to hold him like a baby and just sing to him, much like he had seen Anna and Elsa's mother do in the movie. Looking down at him he would just stare into my eyes. Now I am NOT a good singer, but when he asked me to I would drop everything to sing that song to him.
Another memory is very clear in my mind. We had just come home and I had had a long day at work. I told him that I needed to sit on the couch and relax for at least 30 minutes before I cooked dinner because I was tired and had a long day. He said, " Can I sit with you quietly and we can listen to music?" "Sure bud, but I need it to be Jesus music this time." He happily obliged and went on to play.
The first song that came on my pandora was "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North which is one of my favorites and was very fitting for the evening. When I started to sing, he decided he didn't want to play he just wanted to cuddle and listen to me sing...so we continued this. The third or fourth song that came on was "How He Loves" the minute it popped up on my tv I lost it. He was so confused about why I was crying, so I paused the song before they even started singing. I did the best I could to tell him about Eric. I told him how my friend passed away suddenly and he would always sing this song for people. He couldn't understand why Eric would sing it. I asked him "Will you listen to what it says while I sing and just lay here?" So we did...of course at that point I was barely able to sing. When the song was over I paused the music and told him Eric would always sing it to people because he knew just how much God loves each of us. I said, "Little Man, God loves you so much and there is no one else out there that could take your place." I just kept saying that God loves each of us so much and that's what Eric wanted us to know. We just laid there for a while and I held him tight. When I turned the music back on, I lost it again. I closed my eyes and just cried...without missing a beat Little Man reached up and wiped a tear away and said "It's ok because God loves you so much." I know that I am not doing everything perfectly with this kid but one of the best moments I ever had with him came because of Eric and music.
Little Man has been gone for a little over 3 months now. And while I won't go into all the details here, this was possibly the hardest decision I have ever had to make. Little Man was struggling a lot and although I loved him to the best of my ability, I could not help him in the ways that he needed help. I miss him daily still and the amount of love I have for him has never changed, and hopefully never will. But there are certain songs that I either can't listen to without being reminded of him, or I still avoid altogether for the same reason.
Music connects people. He may never remember us singing or dancing, but I will. And I know that it was in those moments that he knew he was loved.
As children, we don't say it often, but my Dad was right. All of those times he would sing or say "You're Gonna Miss This," I wish I would have listened and taken it in. Because I miss so many of those moments with Little Man.
"You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"
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